he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My penis needs a shock collar
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
