i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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