He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
