I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
