Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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