I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
