i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You're a waste of cheezeits
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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