But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
