3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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