She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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