she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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