i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
