38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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