My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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