There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
