I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
