Pants 0. Shit 1.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i dont even know how to be here
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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