i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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