On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize