When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
