I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
