the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
