I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize