you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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