Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
