he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
