.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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