Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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