Im at strip club and am horny
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Congratulations! We have a period
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