Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
