1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
OPIZZABONMYDICK
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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