I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
do nipples grow back?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
