Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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