she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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