ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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