I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
