you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
