It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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