dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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