And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize