I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
