dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
