yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize