I think i sorta joined a cult last night
two words: eviction party
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
