i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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