no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Text me some of your sweat
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
