I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize