i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize