belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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