I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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