Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
