I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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