I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
