Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
