My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
