This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
