Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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