Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
