Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
third nipple confirmed
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
