I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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