what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
