He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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