if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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